plot post 2009 edition
copied from a planned post in plot doctoring onoes
Sometime in the 1600s-1700s:
A group of people, probably around ten, come across a Sufficiently Advanced Device beneath the earth in southwest China which is presumably alien in origin and which, after a good long period of messing about with it, basically grants immortality. (No aging and pretty crazy good regen, although they are still technically killable. By and large, attacking their shadows rather than them seems to deal more aggravated damage. …somehow.)
Hence: alien voodoo.
Multiple groups of people may have discovered the device (mostly with the help of the original ten) over the next hundred years or so, but eventually through general geological activity it becomes inaccessible.
Three hundred or so years later, the immortals created thereby have mostly split into a few factions, two of which are important to the story at hand: a more benevolent Ancient Tradition led by a woman calling herself ‘Adler’ in the present, and an antagonistic Ancient Conspiracy led by a man who doesn’t really seem to have a name anymore. Both are part of the original ten, and have a few other immortals and dozens of more normal agents serving their purposes. Presumably these two have been fighting for at least the last century, and probably a good bit longer.
In Chicago, around 2007, we meet with a mid-twenties brilliant but lazy high-perception Female Main Character named Lydia Mycroft. Specifically we meet with her as she’s being kicked out of a university, as she’s basically spent the last eight or so years hanging around there abusing graduation requirements and a somewhat suspiciously rich, dead great-relative who liked her enough to leave a good-sized trust fund for as long as it took to meet them. And also being sort of Chaotic Neutral disruptive in general. Hence why they felt the need to force her out despite that whole money thing.
AND THIS IS WHERE THE PLOT ACTUALLY STARTS AFTER THREE LONGISH PARAGRAPHS AAH
Very confused and put off by this she sort of starts meandering, mostly in the direction of coffee and a good hotel, and probably giving thought to how you could start up a consulting detective business nowadays. It is about here that she runs in to Konstantin Petrovich Lebedev, a man about her age who watches every shadow with the sort of intensity that garden-variety baseless paranoia doesn’t often grant. He also happens to be one of the more normal agents of Adler’s group, and also is basically her adoptive son somehow.
After shenanigans happen, probably of the sort involving life-saving, Lydia winds up allying herself with the protagonist side of this conspiracy battle. And.
Well, here’s where I run into a bit of trouble, of the ‘basic missing story element’ kind which prevents me from building much further. I was hoping that perhaps other people might have some suggestions my mind hasn’t conjured up.
The main issues I seem to have are
1) the Device of Youth (it’s not very fountainy-looking) is in Yunnan province. In China. Um, and for some reason the conspiracy drama decided to manifest itself in Chicago. As this is the main reason Lydia gets involved to begin with, it doesn’t seem right to change it.
1b) The Bean: ancient alien technology??
2) so why is Lydia tagging along successfully? It doesn’t even seem to be ‘well, she got in the way, we could either kill her – and well it seems a waste to do that besides we’re a True Neutral tradition – or take her on as some sort of ancient intern’, though that would probably make the most sense. Not that sense matters much here, but.
2b) Rather, they seem to treat her as some sort of (Zombie) Apocalypse Maiden. All things considered, this probably means she has a kind of control over the Device which none of the others can manage. This seems like a vaguely uninteresting plot device, though, the one chosen one who has no reason to even be any such thing.
2c) Still not sure why she would have this Device control ability when even the rest of the original ten don’t seem to, but whatever it is seems to be present in a decent number of people worldwide? Lydia was the most convenient example, then, and besides she stumbled across Konstantin anyhow, so why not take the chance.
2d) At least if this line of reasoning is the case, the other side of the conspiracy drama has a vested interest in tracking her down, too.
nan09 theory:
1. Edges of the Earth (prototitle) Lydia Mycroft and the Alien Voodoo (dad title, best title)- Lydia’s story, involving immortal human conspiracies and an old nonsensical bioweapon buried under Asia? I have no idea. At this point it’s probably the front-runner.
2. The Bizarre Film Noir Adventures of Lowen and Helena in Shadow Government (non-title) – pretty self-descriptive, really.
3. Adam’s backstory, as well as 4. Helena and Aquarii (also non-titles) – 3. being a bit of mythology crossreferencing I’ve had in my head for a while, and 4. being pretty directly related (possibly they would be two halves of the same basic storyline).
this is a work of nonsense
any resemblance to actual physics, living or dead, is entirely coincidental
speed story 2
The theme of this story: serious slice-of-life. The main characters: artistic weapons master and unfriendly singer. The start of the story: promotion. The end of the story: death.
Laurent closed the door behind himself as he entered the apartment which he shared with his roommate. “I just got promoted,” he commented, taking a sword down from the mantlepiece and twirling it around for a while.
“Good for you,”Aysegul said bitterly. “I never have been so.” She brushed disordered hair out of her eyes, poking at a disassembled microphone laying on the table in front of her.
“But if you’re a solo singer don’t you control the whole idea of promotions? That’s a shame.”
“But if you’re an artist, don’t you control the whole idea of promotions? What did you do in order for you to think that yourself deserves one?” she asked.
“Oh. I finished a large piece of sculpture today.”
“Ah.”
They decided to get ona bus to go down to the fountain near the piece of sculpture. Laurent brought along a cane, which got them about one (1) strange look on the bus. It took them around forty-five minutes because it was very full of traffic.
When they stood in front of the fountain, they accidentally found themselves in the middle of a flat white field, snow gently blizzarding towards them from the other direction fromw hich they had come. They decided to go back home. First, they stopped at a cafe, having tea and possibly biscuits under the lack of watchful eyes of a grey-haired teenager and a red-haired woman because that is what is to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys.
The bus crshed, in the middle of a desert, and then they got out.
“Who has water?!” the driver asked, in a panic.
“There’s a convenience store like right there,”Aysegul commented with an icy tone. There was, and it was probably a 7-11 because that is the only one I can think of.
“Oh, right.” the driver said, immediately calming down. “Would you go get some?”
Grumbling, Aysegul went to go do so and get water because the driver was very uncreative and also thirsty.
Suddenly, a gigantic swarm of scarabs set on the bus, singing some form of rock music as they did so. Laurent quickly drew a sword which he was not apparently carrying as the driver began panicking. With a single slice he took out the largest beetle, dodging strikes from the other two or three which were biting at his heels. After a decisive kick to one of those he backed to the side of the bus, turning the air in front of him into a series of highly artistic sword strikes which probably meant something in the interperetation of most critics.
Dramatic music began playing, possibly from the radio of the bus, and a female alto voice began singing along as Laurent combated the remainder of the swarm.
One beetle slipped through his defense, impacting him directly in the head, and he toppled, when it was immediately removed from that position by a well-placed stiletto heel blade from the returning Aysegul, who was engaged in busily balancing a large case of water on her forearms while holding the other shoe in one hand and a microphone in the other hand.
“Good,” the standing Laurent said, nodding sharply.
“Can we get going, then?” Aysegul asked the driver.
As they left the desert, a bunch of ninjas appeared, promptly stabbing a red-haired man who had wandered on the scene at some point during the intense battle.
“Why does this keep happening to me?” Alexander complained before he fell over.
Then together they went off to combine Laurent’s art and weapon mastery with Aysegul’s singing and then they became the most successful two-person troupe ever, with thousands of people coming to their concerts apart from dead people who stayed dead for the most part. Their press stories would always credit the nameless bus driver and the scarab beatles who helped them to become so famous somehow.
speed story
The theme of this story: noir romance. The main character: romantic peasant. The start of the story: natural disaster. The end of the story: advice.
That morning, James awoke to find his fields burning to the ground. “Oh dear, my fields are burning to the ground” he said calmly as he watched the destruction.
Suddenly a fire truck pulled up and a firewoman hopped out, with hair as black as a moonless night and skin ad white as something that was considerably white. He gasped in astonishment, for she was the most beautiful thing he had seen that entire day, or possibly even several months.
After a while the truck decided to spray water on the burning fields. Smoke arose from them like smoke rising from a burning building, and the acrid scent felt like a punch to the head on a relatively peaceful day when one would not be expecting a punch to the head.
“Quickly!” the firewoman said. “We must be locating the legendary Fire Hydrant of the South in order to stop the fire before it goes any further!”
“But couldn’t we just dig a trench, or possibly set a counter-fire?” James asked, but he was already being dragged along behind her. They got into the fire truck and flew off, presumably to the South.
That night they continued flying until the next day.
That day, the fire truck suddenly sustained an injury to its wing on the left. James glanced back, then waved his arms as if in panic. “There are other fire trucks following us!”
“I noticed!” the firefighter said, pulling her hat further down over her eyes in srs. “Quickly, begin firing on them with the hose!”
“But what will that even do?” James asked rhetorically as he picked up the hose and turned it to maximum. “And why can we have water without the Fire Hydrant of the South?”
She paused, staring up at the sky for a few moments, then continiued to ignore his question in favor of doing a barrel roll by pressing Z or R twice.
Fpour hours later they touched down, the rival fire trucks having long been thrown off of thari trail by the combined efforts of James and Elisa who just now got a name. When both of them dismounted the fire truck they realized they were in the middle of a bunch of ruins in the jungle.
“But why a bunch of ruins in the jungle?”
“That’s what hapopens when you look for legendary things,” Elisa said, waving one hand at the top of a ruined gigantic stone fire hydrant in the center of the ruined complex which was ruined. “Don’t question it!”
“Okay,” James said calmly, as he examined the puzzle which was the door of the gigantic fire hydrant. “Every row and column in this magic square adds up to 6.” He pressed a button and it swung open.
“Step only on the white tiles,” he called to Elisa as she continued further into the temple, axe and flak jacket at the ready in case of any zombies. “And make sure to replace the actual Hydrant of the South with something of equal or greater value, absolutely free.”
She nodded back at him in agreement before disappearing into shadow.
A few hours later than that James was watching the sunset dramatically when Elisa resurfaced, carrying the Hydrant with one hand and with a few deep scores on the jacket. “Hello,” she said.
“Great!” he replied, with deep dialogue.
They reboarded the fire truck and began the journey back to James’s fields.
When they got there, the fire had burned itself out. He shrugged vaguely.
“Well, that wasn’t very pointful,” Elisa noted. “In fact, you could say it was fairly pointless.”
“If there’s anything I’ve learned in the last eight hours,” James commented, “it’s that coming up with deep advice in ten seconds is impossible.”
Conclusions: in the case of Alexander, the boss weapons copied are more commonly different projectile configuration data for weapons which he already has (minus the boss form of Julien, which is just a base melee upgrade).
In the cases of Julien and Michael the boss weapons are actual *weapons* presumably reverse-engineered to exhibit some degree of power similar to that of any given boss (minus the boss form of Alexander, which is just a base ranged upgrade)
Helena is a lot more like Zero in that most of her weapons are really just extra special moves, only one or two of which actually has ‘weapon energy’.
Miles is another large division of his own, in that his adorable baby Codex of the Infinite Planes prefers to take a sample of boss energy and turn it into a flat-out support summon. He’s… weird. For the intro levels he’s pretty much a joke though, considering his main attack is a knife with a range of about seven pixels.
